I am on the verge of a major breakdown
Many thoughts are racing through the tired mind of mine
I am really at a loss as to what to do.
So many matters waiting for me to sort

No one can help me.
I am stuck at the cliff now.
Shaking like mad and crying uncontrollably
I am going insane.
School is making it worse.
Nothing is right.
Many due dates to be met,along with the horribily competitive school
Nothing is going right.

Suddenly the very though of u gushed tru my mind
As i was randomly looking tru my letters
I felt so warm and loved by u
Yet the reality struck me that it was all gone
I threw it away myself.
Right in front of the both of us...
I chose to be the ultimate loser and let u go.

It had been years ago that all these memories seem so alive and happening
Chapters of individual lives had been written ever since our romance
U found your girl and i moved on..
But never once have i really erase u clearly frm my mind
U have been so alive in my dreams even till now
I told myself that it is cos of lonesome that i've been feeling such
But why hasn't the lingering feeling of loss gone by fast?
Why am i still the pathetic one who remembers every single bit of u
When perhaps u have no recollections of me and or even the past we once shared

Hearing your name popped up during casual conversation keeps me wanting to noe more
I cant hide the curiosity about the progress u have with ur new girl
Yet i know all these are mere wishful thinking on my part
Call me insane, call me dumb or even obstinate
The truth is i have never learnt to love the right way
I tried very hard to love u, dear
But somehow i keep fumbling in my attempt
Never getting it right, even after ur departure

Seeing your name in MSN, i do have the urge to talk to u
However, i jus can't muster up enuff courage to even say hi
Isn't it ironic that we used to talk to each other online pratically everyday till at least 2 am
Yet, right now..we jus cant be like before?
I have so much things to tel u but i am jus unable to find the right words
Or where to begin with

Dear, i really miss the times we spent together
I noe it's all wrong
U are no longer mine truely, no lover of mine, or even my ****
All the affectionate terms have long been forfeited the day i made the mistake of letting you go.
I have no power to change history.
But if ever God allows me to, i will love u tender
Never to let u leave my side
Never to take the same old route to destruction again
Yet, it's just all too late
I was absent in your life for the past 2 years
I cannot make it up to u or even erase whatever memories u have with ur girl
I was never on time. I was late 2 years in ur life.
And that is sufficient enuff for u to foget abt me and move on

Allow me for being foolish for the reminiscence of the past
Pardon me the chance of thinking of u once more
That will be enough...at least for now
When i feel so helpless and lost
I'll jus keep thinking of u till i am ok.