Graduation photo *huiling,karin and beattie (san jie,xiao mei and er jie)
This post is definitely another of my sorrowful one. Full of emotions as i typed this. Another of my dearies is gonna leave me now... SAN JIE!!!!
It was 2 and 1/2 years ago that i met the three of them. After first three mths of orientation and stuffs, i came into the class of JJC 05S33. Strangely, i barely know any of them, except jiesheng. I didnt realise that soon friendship will sink in and sweep me off my feet..
Our first few months of encounters were really not as what it always depicts in stories of perfect plot. In fact, i got close with beattie and nianci first. I have to admit initially, i did not really like Huiling. She will just stick to us and without talking much to us. The three of us, nianci, beattie and me did wad we could. We sent beattie to break the news to huiling. I can still remember that when we finally let huiling noe our sentiments, all 3 of us heaved a sigh of relief. However, a weird emotion crept within us. Guilt. We hurt her unknowingly.
Maybe it is really God tat came into the picture that allows us to break free of our initial discomfort zone and gradually got all 4 of us together. Or maybe it was just Nature. But wadeva it is, i am really grateful. If it was for God, i would have lost the chance to allow this sweet girls into my life. Nianci, Huiling and Beattie. My dearies.
JC life is a real emotional roller coaster for me. Someone who wanted so much to break free of her past and to make real friends. I wasnt prepared to lose my heart in this short 2 years. I told myself that no matter wad, i am not gonna let myself go tru another emotional wreck in terms of friendship. No way. I am way too comfortable with my 3 darlings in 4-in-love that i need no other friends in my life. They are all that i need. I was so wrong. Trust me.
I am nt comparing between my group of friends. These 2 grps are with me tru different aspect of my life. Secondary school and JC life. Wads common between them is that i feel safe and loved by every single of them. I lost some in life. My grandpa, my grandma, my relationships, my supposedly friendship with some..Yet, i triumph tru all these. Cos i have these 2 grps of real impt friends in my life. I gained love.
When everything in my life seems to go against the norm, they were with me. The 2 grps of them. In this post, i shall pay tribute to my JC clique instead. ( i did a previous tribute to my 3 darlings..so it's my dearies' time now)
I believe some of u understand the pain i been tru in terms of my family problems. Just when i lost my grandpa in JC1 , my mummy was suspected to be suffering frm cancer, though it wasnt confirmed..i broke down in school that very morning when my mummy told me of the bad news. I told myself that i really need to be strong. I still have my siblings. I cant allow myself to be weak and teary in front of them when they require me at this crucial moment. But my stubborn tears just cant help but threaten to disrupt my composure. Toilet was the best avenue where i can hide it all.
I was so wrong. My 3 dearies saw it all coming. They were with me tru it. every minutes and every seconds. They tolerated my fragility. They accepted my tears. The hugs i receive frm them. The prayers that i have it frm Beattie to calm me down. The pat on my head that huiling unselfishly gave me. The advices and all tat i receive frm every singe of them warm it all.
In terms of relationships, i lost in the arena. I broke up with xiaoming* ( name modified to protect the disclaimer). Despite every hustle and bustle in the relationship with xiaoming*, i was real hurt. I dun care if someone close to him or he himself comes across this post, but i am gonna write wadeva i like here. I dashed into toilets everytime i see him in school. I may act nonchalent but whenever he brushed past me in school, but God knows i tried so hard to hide it all. I have to struggle to blink away the tears every instance. I end up in my all-so-familiar and favourite toilet weeping away.
Everytime without fail, huiling and beattie will be there. I was a real emotional wreck. They did not forsake me in the dark alley of my life. They offered me strength. Neither did impatience caused them to flee frm my side. I took real long to get over the xiaoming* incident. 1.5 year. The longest ever did. Maybe Nianci was not aware of it all. But it doesnt matter. It's all over now. I moved on. Thanks to them.
I have real naggy friends! Huiling, Beattie and Nianci. All 3 of them always nag me to have 3 proper meals. I am always on diet and the 3 of them will just force me to adhere their standard and strict campaign of "Making Shiying eat 3 proper meals". I lost weight after the death of my grandpa, the break up and stress of A levels. But slowly, under the influence of my always hungry 3 dearies, we will end up visiting the school canteen almost once every two break intervals we have from lectures. Esp Beattie. Her favourite fish which is dipped in sweet sweet tomato sauce. Prata for Huiling. As for me, my favourite strawberry yogurt drink or milkshake.
The school's bookshop ( K box) is also one of our favourite hangouts. I simply love the black and white "Hei Bai Pei" that i must have it everyday in school. All my favourites they clearly noe within their heart. We got a pouch that we are supposed to sew it ourselves and see who complete it first. Haha. Even till today, i haven sew it all. Yet, huiling and nianci finished it within a week. All right. My sewing skills sucks. haha. But i really have fun sewing. After all, it is my first time doing such handicrafts, cos previously secondary home econs, i will always cheat by asking my auntie for help. Hehe.
We had outings. But never often, all 4 of us turned up. We are always busy with our individuals' commitment. Oh boy!! Till now, we have not uploaded the neoprints we took when we went out. Huiling cant walk long as her legs and her backbone will hurt. So everytime, we will walk and stop to rest. I didnt mind any single bit. Cos whenever we rest, my legs were super tired by then. I still remembered once when all 4 of us turned up for the date at orchard.We had yummy "dian xing" frm the Food Republic. Real real good food. So is the price. Super ex. Nevertheless, the money was well spent as the quality of the food was comparable to wad i have eaten over in Hong Kong. Thumbs up!!
I still remember on my bdae. I thought they totally forgot abt it all. Somehow, to be honest, i didnt feel really upset. I actually forgot that they did not have a present for me. How muddle-headed am i! One week after my bdae, i receive the present frm them. A musical box! I really feel very very elated. I didnt realise that they actually got me a music box. A few months ago, i was telling them that i will definitely getting my daughter a musical box cos i believe all girls should have one. It is a MUST-HAVE. Imagine when you open it, den got real nice and soothy music sounding in ur eyes. So sweet.
I was real touched that my casual comment landed them to get me the clam-shell musical box. When i opened it, i really felt that i am the luckiest girl in the world, inside, there was a little crown ring and a pair of ear-ring. The little crown ring soon becomes my daily companion. I simply love it to the core! The ear-ring was real familiar looking. Apparently, a few months ago,huiling sent me a catalogue of accessories frm Taiwan. She was really into overseas importing of accessories then. I actually wanted to get 4 pairs of the ear-rings for my 3 darlings in 4-in-love. But due to the hefy shipment fee, i was disheartened.
Now, i am the proud owner of the ear-ring thanks to my 4 dearies. Huiling actually ordered it a month b4 my bdae and as the delievery was delayed, i only got my long-awaited bdae gift one week later. Still, i was real real real touched by them. Even till now, the ring is still neatly tucked on my left hand's second finger.. =)
In school, Beattie and I frequently lost our way. it is always Huiling that is familiar with the shortest route to all the lecture halls. Huiling will be in Lala land whenever the lecturers talk , I will either be joining her or day-dreaming while beattie happily copying notes. We will always go to the library or our favourite bench outside the biology labs to mug. They seldom ask me questions regarding homeowrk cos i always end up giving stupid answers cos i just am not into the situation.haha.
Today, i learnt of a bad news. Huiling is going overseas to study. The instance i receive the msg frm her, my legs went wobbily. I am serious. Thousands of words ran across my brains.. My first reaction was to ask her when she is flying, where she is going, wad course and stuffs. I could hardly wait for her reply. I was real shocked by the sudden sms i receive when i asked if she wanted to go back to collect A levels cert today. Never did i expect that she is gonna reply me saying she is leaving spore for pursuit of studies overseas. I was real taken aback.
Right now, i am still recovering frm the bad news. I miss my 3 dearies!! I must meet huiling before she leaves for Australia. I want to send her personally. To date, i have only sent 2 ppl off. Those real close ones. First Tao Tao, second Bao and now...huiling. Why must this happen again??!!!
I still remember initially in JJC, we were discussing of the prospect of going overseas should we do real bad in our A levels. I was to go to Canada to join my auntie and huiling to Australia. Right now, i need not go overseas, but huiling is... I really feel a sense of loss. i miss her now. Even before she leaves for Australia. How am i not gonna miss her when she is there?? I must get a web-cam real soon!!! It's real hard to reach Huiling when she is in spore cos of our packed schedule, how can i reach her when she is overseas?? I really dread to think of the possibilty of losing contact with her forever. I seriously do not want such of this to occur in my life.
Huiling, if you are reading this, i want you to noe that i really cant bear for you to go Australia for studies. I know it is hard on ur part cos u yourself also feel very reluctant to leave us, if not for the sake of studies. But i really hope that you can take extremely good care of yourself when you are there. I will definitely miss you! Thanks for being there to see me tru my tears and emotions. You have really been someone that i can talk freely and not hide my feelings. I feel at ease with you. Thanks so much for all the comforts you have showered me. The love and the strength i receive frm you will always be etched in our hearts. We love you so much and thanks for leaving such strong impact in my life. I will always regard you as my san jie and most importantly, Friends For Eternity.
***Karin***
