Yawn. Right now i am at my workplace trying to evade the boss's scrunity and blogging at the same time. CHINESE NEW YEAR is coming. SO is the results. Ok, so i shall make this post abt the impending DOOMSDAY of mine. >.<

I can imagine myself standing still and trembling with my results in hand and in a daze. Probably i will jus stone there and wait till my itchy hand go open the results to see if i can make it to uni. Haix.

Sometimes i envy Bao. In fact, i admit i admire him for his courage. Results not out yet but he is already in Australia preparing to go to the uni there. Seems to have everything planned and ready for him le. Wonder if i have his courage to convince myself to go overseas uni.

Now preparing for the worse, if i really cannot make it(touch wood), i guess i will either go work or perhaps go NIE. Haix. That's the worse path i can imagine myself to take. Well.. not that i dun like teaching, but jus that i dun really wan it to be my career for life. giving tuition is fine but definitely not a full time educator. I can see myself going bonkers.Haha.

Thinking tru my 2 years mugging in Jc, i guess i can only say 1 yr of mugging cos i played the first yr. Lol. Year 2 proved to be a struggle for me. First, i need to juggle time between cca commitment and also studies. (though i mostly did not really involve myself too much in XAC other than slacking)Second, i need to keep myself awake for all the lectures.=P Poor beattie and huiling are always waking miup when i accidentally doze off somehow. Also, i learnt o take the failing grades positively and convinve myself that i need to wait patiently for results.All these tested my willpower to the max.Imagine only having 5 hrs slp a day.Haix.It was taxing.Thank goodness, i am still alive. Also..the other aspect of my personal life..

I learnt to be strong mentally and that to take things in stride. My civics tutor was understanding enuff toward my situation and allow mi to stay home towards the Prelims period. i was too stressed by those arnd mi and also mostly pressure frm myself. In fact,tru out my studies, i have not been handling stress well.Haha. My friends arnd mi wil be nodding their heads vigorously now.Lol. =P

I am really grateful that i really did STUDY hard for a levels cos i wont wan to disappoint my parents. Wadeva the results are.. it's all settled the minute i put down my pen for the papers. I dun wan myself to keep thinking of the " What If" cos i reckon that it will be too much for mi to take it. Lets just close our eyes and pray that we will see the fruits of our labour at the end of the day..


***Karin***